My personal feminine spouse is actually beautiful, intelligent and careful; apart from the sex life, our very own connection is great. Although once we do have sex, its enjoyable and rewarding, personally i think under some pressure as the woman sexual drive is actually dramatically raised above my own. We stress that my personal dulled desire is a result of my diminished control within commitment. My personal reticence in the bed room causes the woman immense stress and makes me personally feel terrible. The woman is my very first same-sex spouse.

You may well be right about needing additional control inside sex-life, so why not make a plan to achieve that? You be seemingly harbouring resentment towards imbalance of energy within relationship, very inform your partner exactly how you are feeling.

Ask her to give you a chance to begin gender and take a dominating role if you wish. Should you decide create an erotic knowledge that transforms you on and place it into practice, you will most certainly find it is exciting on her behalf too. When you have certainly become caught in a dull program, make use of your creativity to get out from it.

Prioritise time together and make certain that exhaustion and work anxiety do not ruin it. There’s a lot of possible grounds for reduced desire, several of which are physiological (such as hormonal changes), so have a medical check-up. Emotional factors include unexpressed fury, guilt and depression – several lesbians and gay guys have a problem with internalised homophobia. The coming- out process is not simple and might be affecting your desire, therefore if the reduced sexual desire continues, seek advice from a professional sex therapist.

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Pamela Stephenson Connolly is actually a medical psychologist and psychotherapist who specialises for intimate issues.